Reviews of Bad Poetry

Crabnox's foray into the poetic realm has already generated controversy and polarized the world of verse reviewers.  Below, read Crabnox's masterpiece followed by some actual reviews of the work.  Note:  grammatical and other errors present in the poem are intentional features.

Poem To Steven

I heard them say love can’t pay the rent,
Now, I’m getting evict from my mansion of affection.
You never accepted the deposit,
Of my heart.
First month, last month, no love, not from you
“I have feelings too.”
Wounded, burned
My heart yearned
You made my head turned when I first saw you
I thought your feelings were true
My heart beat a million times when I met you,
My heart sank a billion times when we said goodbye,
And I cried a trillion tears this morning.

For this melancholy thing, to me, to happen, I never would have been believin’.
My
Dearest
Steven.

Negative Reviews

"... all this is of intense interest to you, but you fail to make it either important or interesting for anyone else."

"You're going to need to develop a better understanding of what poetry actually is."

"This isn't poetry;  it's just a standard-issue beginner's broken-up prose journal entry expressed in a series of clichés of both thought and expression."

"...there's nothing that can be done to salvage this piece in anything remotely like its current incarnation."

"The piece is dead on arrival."

" I imagine [you] haven't spent a lot of time reading lots of well-written poetry."

Positive Reviews

"This is an interesting poem."

"Great poem."

"Too bad you couldn't leave your heartache in the bank and never had to withdraw it."